I have had plenty of friends date people in different cities and I always shook my head at that predicament – why couldn’t you just pick someone that lived in the same city, it would make things a lot easier on everyone. I will say though that there have been an equal number of couples that broke up and stayed together through it; so I am not biased one way or the other. I definitely think it depends on the two people and their situation (so vague, I know).
I was so against it and thought it was completely avoidable…And then here we are and I am in a long distance relationship. How did that happen? My boyfriend wanted to go back to school and play football and since he already had played here in Calgary, he decided he would go home and play for the U of M instead. It was convenient and cost-efficient for him because he could live at his mom’s house. He also took our dog with him so that I didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving him at home all day when I worked. So I am actually missing two loves in my life. What I have realized over these past six months is that I probably would have no interest in long distance with someone I just met – it would be very hard to get to know someone if you only see them one a month (or less) even with the help of technology. Our five years pushed us past that stage, making our visits more about catching up rather than trying to figure out each others personality traits or habits that are hidden on phones.
I am by no means an expert and six months is not a long time of long distance compared to many other couples, but you’re already this far so you might as well read my points:
- Trust is key. I know everyone knows that, but you can really get yourself all worked up if the other person isn’t answering their phone and you start imagining where they are, what they’re doing…bad idea.
- All the communication. Tying into the point above, being able to talk openly and honestly will keep things normal and avoid problems building up.
- Keep yourself busy. Take the extra time that you have that aren’t spent on dates and together time to do the things you want to do. Not only will it keep your mind off the distance (for awhile at least), but it will also let you feel productive and accomplished.
- It’s the little things that matter. Send little loves texts, remember when your partner has a big deadline, watch the same show together over Facetime. It helps to feel close even when you aren’t physically.
- Quality over quantity. Depending on the distance, you could have weekend visits or every few month visits. Either way when you are together make the most of it; do what you both love to do, and do it with love.
- It’ll be worth it.
I’ve seen it not work out but I also have seen it work out. What lessons have you learned from long distance relationships?